


I'm no superman

by Outdoorsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Overworking, Sickfic, fishingmj2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-09-17 16:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outdoorsy/pseuds/Outdoorsy
Summary: Starting his first year residency in a very busy ER Jun finds himself faced with a trillion new problems most of which result from meeting his last ONS, who seems to hate him. Oh, and he is his supervisor.





	1. A familiar face in an unknown place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [learashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/learashi/gifts).



  1. A familiar face in an unknown place



 

Wearily, Jun glanced down at the paper he was holding in his slightly shaking hand. It was a cold morning in November and this was supposed to be the start of his new life.

"Meet Ishikawa-sensei in the ER at 8:00 sharp on Monday, Nov. 19th." It said. Some more information on where exactly the ER was and what he needed to bring was included, but this was the gist of it.

 

He had just finished medical school two months ago and now he was about to start his residency in one of the most prestigious university hospitals in the middle of Tokyo. He actually had no idea how he landed this job. He had done okay on the tests, but no way good enough for this hospital. Everyone else was probably smarter than him. This only meant that he needed to work harder than anyone here.

 

Jun tried to take a deep breath, but failed while trying to do so. He was way too nervous for this. He had met the doctor who would be in charge of him a few days earlier and he had seemed nice, but this only meant that Jun needed to prove himself to be worth working with him.

 

This was his first time working as a resident. Not quite a doctor yet, but closer than ever. Following medical school everyone had to do 2 years of unpaid work- namely residency- before they could start their specialities.

 

He didn't quite understand why he would start in the ER, but this was not his choice to make. Usually people were placed on the wards to learn a bit before they had to work in a hectic environment such as the ER, but somehow he had ended up taking this rotation first.

 

It took some courage, but he finally entered the ER and tried to figure out where to go. There was only a small cubicle with a sign "reception". The wall was lined with chairs to sit all the patients who would come here with their minor and major emergencies. As of now, it was quite empty, one couple sitting in the far right corner. The guy had his hand pressed to his chest as if he had injured it. It was pretty quiet, but people needed to be awake to actually have accidents, so this was to be expected.

 

When he approached the main desk a bored nurse looked up at him. "So, what's the problem?" She asked. Almost as if she was annoyed by him. Probably not the way to greet patients in distress, but obviously Jun didn't look as stressed as he felt.

 

"N...No problem!" Jun hated how his voice was shaking. He needed to make a good impression, but was failing as of now. "I'm the new resident. I'm supposed to meet Ishikawa-sensei."

 

This seemed to have caught the nurse’s attention. She got up and moved to the back of her cubicle. Jun could hear her talking into a telephone in a low voice.

 

When she got back, she observed him carefully, as if she was trying to figure out how long he would survive.

 

"There has been a change in doctors, the one in charge of you will be Sakurai-sensei."

 

She ushered him into the staff room where some people were discussing a case on the white board. The resident who was holding the presentation looked a bit nervous while one of the doctors was questioning him.

 

"Sakurai-sensei?" The nursed called in a low voice. "I've got your new charge with me."

The doctor who had been questioning the resident turned around and Jun froze. He knew that face all too well, though the last time they had met, he hadn't actually seen much of it, given the fact that the guy had taken him from behind. Countless times. The memory was a bit blurry with alcohol, but this was without doubts the guy who he had taken home a few nights prior and who had honestly been the best ONS he had had in a few years.

 

He felt the heat in his face rising, but there was no possible way to escape now. The other man also looked like he had recognized Jun as his one night stand from a few days back, but he kept his cool and just told him to sit down in the back and listen.

 

Jun tried to focus on the presentation the other guy was giving but felt himself caught in his own thoughts. His heart was thumping and he was still trying to figure out how to deal with the fact, that his new supervisor was super hot and had already fucked him, literally.

 

"...-san. Matsumoto-san?"

 

He jolted when he heard someone calling his name.

 

"Already spacing out on your first day?"

 

Sakurai's eyes had nothing of the warmth they had displayed a few days back. He looked cold, if not unhappy. So maybe he was not too happy to see Jun here. Well, who would have expected them to meet again in these circumstances?

 

"Sorry!" he apologized. "I didn't get enough sleep yesterday."

 

"Get used to it and pay attention." Sakurai rebuffed. "So, let me repeat. If you had to give this patient a diuretic, which one would you use?"

 

"Furosemide?"

 

"Is that a question or an answer?"

 

"An answer."

 

Sakurai huffed. "So you're not quite as useless as it seems."

 

Jun felt himself blush again. He was not quite sure if he would survive this. Maybe the nurse at the main desk had already known how he would feel at the end of the day.

 

After the presentation had ended, Sakurai told Jun to stay back. He closed the door behind the last to leave and turned around. Jun was not quite sure, what to say. Should he try to approach the topic? He couldn't deny that he was attracted to Sakurai, even without seeing him naked. He looked really professional in his white coat and it only added to his attractiveness.

 

"Matsumoto-san, you know that this won't happen again, don't you? I was only looking for a quick way to relieve stress. This will not affect my judgement of you or our working relationship. I would also like you to not tell anyone about how we know each other. We met for the first time here, and that's it."

 

Without waiting for a reply, Sakurai left him standing in the staff room, looking a bit lost. He really had to reconsider his opinion: Sakurai was undeniably attractive and obviously an asshole.

 

Jun groaned. This could not be worse. He had no idea where to find anything, he still had no clothes for working, no key, no idea, no... and his supervisor hated him. He felt himself wishing for a way to escape, but couldn't find a good solution. He needed this, but he was not sure if he could work with Sakurai. Or even look at him. The other one obviously despised him.

 

The door opened again and Jun flinched.

 

"Hi!" It was a young guy wearing pink scrubs and looking quite happy. "I'm Aiba Masaki, paediatrics resident. Sho-chan asked me to show you around since there is not much work to do for me at the moment."

 

Before Jun could even respond, Aiba grabbed his arm and pulled him along, all while happily chitchatting. "I'm already in my second year of residency, so I know this place! Have you already got your key?"

 

Jun shook his head. He was a bit overwhelmed by the other guy.

 

"No problem, so we'll get that first, then I'm going to show you around and get you some scrubs, those clothes don't look like working in them will do them any good."

 

He waved a hand at Jun's nice button down shirt. He had hoped to make a good first impression, though he knew that this was not very good for working in it.

 

"You're really lucky to work with Sho-chan!" Aiba gave him a bright smile. Jun had already decided to like that guy, even though he was way to energetic. Christ, it was quarter past 8 in the morning. He had no idea why he chose a job like this. He really needed a coffee.

 

"Sho-san?"

 

Aiba laughed. "Sakurai-sensei. He's a great guy, a bit strict, but fun to work with and really intelligent."

 

Jun didn't reply. So the others liked him, this only made matters worse. He had probably fucked Aiba, too. He felt his cheeks heating up. This had only been a one-night stand, why was he being jealous of other guys? Also, Sakurai would probably do anything to undo their night together.

 

An hour later Aiba returned him to the ER after showing him his locker, the toilets, where to find radiology and the OR. He had told him quite a bit about all the others he would be working with and had spent another 15 minutes on odes to brilliant Sho-chan without even noticing how uncomfortable Jun was with this topic.

 

Jun now was wearing nice white pants and blue scrubs, his nametag fixed on his right breast.

 

"You look like a proper doctor!" Aiba crooned. He was way too over excited, Jun decided, but felt some pride rise. This was what he had worked for.

 

He blushed again. "I'm still a resident."

 

When they entered the ER people were hurrying towards one of the trauma rooms. Before Jun could even comprehend what was happening, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him along. The grip was strong and he had no other choice but to follow. It was Sakurai, who shoved him forward.

 

There was an old guy lying on the treatment table, completely undressed. A nurse was doing CPR on him, while a doctor was trying to intubate him. The nurse turned around as soon as they entered.

 

"Change!" Sakurai ordered and pushed Jun to the table. The nurse started counting up and at 30 they switched places, Jun now pounding down on the breast of the unconscious man.

 

Someone had grabbed the clipboard and started reading out to them.

 

"54 year old male, found unconscious on the toilet by his wife. No known heart disorders. She called the ambulance. The ECG showed ST elevations in V2-V5. Under the watch of the emergency doctor his heart stopped and they started CPR. We will try to establish extracorporeal circulation."

 

"Change!" Someone called out and Jun started counting. "28, 29, 30!" They switched places again and he backed away from the table. Outside of the room two people were getting dressed and wheeled a big machine in.

 

One of the wiped down the groin and started inserting a huge tube into the small cut he had opened up. The other guy did the same thing on the other side.

 

"Turning it on!" He shouted out.

 

Jun was still trying to take in everything, when someone touched his arm. "Is this your first time seeing ECMO?" He seemed to look confused, so Sakurai elaborated. "Extracorporeal membrane oxygenation. It's a special kind of heart-lung-machine. It will take over the functions of his heart while it won't beat on its own."

 

They wheeled the patient out and the nurses started cleaning out the room. Jun didn't move. This had been quite overwhelming. He only noticed that Sakurai had also stayed behind, when the other addressed him again. "Strange first impression, huh? It's usually a bit more quiet down here."

 

Maybe he was not quite as bad as Jun had thought. He seemed almost human now. But he should be careful. The last thing he wanted to fall for the doctor, again.

 

"What will happen to the guy?"

 

Sakurai shrugged. "Who knows? He will probably die in the ICU..."

 

The reminder of the day, Jun shadowed Sakurai, who was examining patients with minor problems. The normal stuff, Sakurai told him. When the next shift came to take over, Jun felt dead on his feet even though he had not done much. Maybe working with a seriously hot guy (he had already had sex with...) was more tiring than he had anticipated.

 

"You'll start doing your own patients tomorrow!" Sakurai told him, before he left and Jun was not quite sure how this would work out.


	2. No breaks until the point of breaking

The next morning came faster than Jun had anticipated. In fear of being totally useless the next day, he had spent his evening studying and had ended up falling asleep at his desk. Now his back hurt and he didn't have the time to get some coffee since he overslept.

 

"Good morning!" He greeted while he was still trying to figure out which hole in his scrubs was for the head. Aiba, who had the locker next to him, started laughing, when he saw Jun, who had managed to push his head through the one for the right arm.

Jun sent him an angry glare. "I hate mornings!" He exclaimed while he tried to wiggle out of the shirt.

 

The door opened again and this was the moment Jun realized that they were sharing dressing rooms with the doctors. Aiba happily bounced over to greet Sakurai, who was staring at Jun.

 

"Wrong hole... the head belongs somewhere else." Sakurai muttered and Jun choked.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to get out of the shirt and put it on the right way.

 

Aiba stared at him. "Are you okay? You look really flushed! You're not sick, are you?"

 

Jun shook his head in embarrassment. "I'm fine."

 

A knowing smile spread across Aibas face and he came a bit closer than Jun was comfortable with. "You don't happen to like Sho-chan?"

 

"No!" Jun backed away until his back hit the locker behind him.

 

Aiba shrugged. "You're quite easy to read, you know?"

 

Jun had no idea how he should be able to work with Sakurai after this encounter.

 

In the end, he didn't meet Sakurai until three hours later. He had already seen a woman with chest pain (no heart attack, just angina) and a guy with dyspnoea. He was actually pretty proud of how he had managed and felt the sudden urge to tell his supervisor about this.

 

Jun looked at the chart the nurse had just handed him, but before he could go and call the patient, his phone rang.

 

"Yes?"

 

"We've got a patient incoming who got into a car accident, but they think he might have had a heart attack that caused the accident. Meet me in trauma room 2."

 

He hurried towards the trauma room where Sakurai was already waiting for him. "Do you know how to set up an ECG?" He asked without a greeting. Jun nodded and they entered the room.

 

It was mayhem inside the room. There was quite a lot of blood on the floor and the surgeons were trying to stop the bleeding from the place where the right arm was supposed to be.

 

Jun was pretty glad that they had already stuck on the pads so I only had to hook the cables up to the monitor and get the readout.

 

When he was done he dodged one of the surgeons and hurried back to the door where Sakurai was waiting. "What do you see?"

 

Jun took a quick look at the printout and replied after a few seconds. "No ST-elevations, so maybe a silent heart attack. The rhythm is off, so probably atrial fibrillations. A clot from the auricle might have broken off and clogged one of the brain arteries."

 

Sakurai nodded. "So there is not much we can do at the moment. We'll take care of him, if he survives the night."

 

He turned around and eyed Jun carefully. "You should probably change and then you'll find me in the staff room and we'll talk about whom you've seen so far."

 

Jun looked down and noticed that he was covered in blood. So maybe this was why Sakurai had sent him to get the ECG...

 

"Did you decide to change to paediatrics?" Sakurai asked as he entered the room. Jun found himself blushing for the umpteenth time that day.

 

"There were no blue scrubs left." Jun explained.

 

"No worries, you look cute in pink."

 

What was he trying to say? Jun didn't know what to reply, so he just looked down and tried not to look too flustered.

 

"So, who did you see today?"

 

Jun spent the next 15 minutes explaining about the patients he had admitted. Sakurai gave some advice but other than that, he had actually done well.

 

It was already past noon and it didn't look like he would get a break, so Jun munched down the energy bar he had brought and went to see his next patient.

 

"Matsujun~!"

 

It hadn't even taken a day for Aiba to come up with a nickname for him. "We're going to a bar tonight, you have to come!"

 

Even though Jun was quite exhausted, he agreed to come with his new friend. He just hoped that he wouldn't invite Sakurai. He wondered how Aiba was friends with the doctor, but Aiba was friends with everyone, so it was no real mystery.

 

Aiba had chosen a small bar a few blocks away from the hospital and kept talking all the way while Jun was listening. He was feeling a headache build up, but he could just take some painkillers later on. It was only his second day and he wanted to make a good impression and maybe find some other friends.

 

Two other men sitting in a corner of the bar greeted them.

 

"This is Matsujun!" Aiba introduced him. "He just started his residency."

 

One of the guys looked as tired as Jun felt, but he gave him a short nod and smiled. "Ohno Satoshi, I'm a surgeon." The other guy was eyeing Jun as if he was trying to figure out whether to like him or not.

 

"That's Nino." Aiba introduced him. "He's a second year resident in surgery."

 

"Nice to meet you!" Jun bowed his head.

 

It took Nino a few beers to warm up to him, but then he started talking quite a lot, teasing Jun and telling stories about how he met the others.

 

It turned out that Aiba and Sakurai had been next-door neighbours during college, so that's how they knew each other. Nino had been in high school with Aiba and Ohno was his supervisor. Jun still wasn't sure how he could call the doctor "Oh-chan".

 

Sakurai would probably never call him by his given name, let alone allow Jun to call him anything else than Sakurai-sensei.

 

The evening ended with Ohno and Nino leaving together and Jun basically carrying Aiba home, who insisted that he could still walk.

 

"I'm gonna have the day off tomorrow, I'll be fine!" He declared when Jun dropped him off at his apartment.

 

Returning to his own home, Jun found that he had actually enjoyed the evening. His headache had mysteriously disappeared, so it had probably been due to stress. It returned with full force when he thought about getting up in five hours for his next day at the hospital. He had never expected this to be easy.

 

When the week was over, he felt like someone had pushed him under a bus. He had lost about a kg in only a week due to not having time to eat. Maybe also muscle. He needed to hit the gym on the weekend, but for now he just wanted to sleep.

 


	3. The thing about food

  1. The thing about food



"Matsujun!" Aiba draped an arm across his shoulders, while he was trying to button his pants. Jun didn't reply. He knew that Aiba would continue talking anyways.

 

"We're going out tonight, you have to come!"

 

"I'll try. But I can't promise anything. I've barely had time to do my grocery shopping so far this week and Sakurai-sensei usually keeps me here till late in the evening and I really don't have any food left at home."

 

It was already Thursday and he had eaten the last of his rice two days ago. He was also running low on energy bars, and he really needed some fresh food.

 

Aiba let go of him and stepped back, carefully mustering him. "How long have you been working here?"

 

"Two weeks and a bit." Jun replied, wondering what Aiba was trying to achieve.

 

"And how much weight have you lost?"

 

Jun froze. He hadn't expected anyone to notice.

 

"I don't know..."

 

Aiba gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "It happened to all of us, but you're a bit faster than average. Try to get some more food and take some breaks! I'm gonna talk to Sho-chan."

 

"No!" Jun shouted in utter horror. "Don't tell him, I'm fine!"

 

"What are you not supposed to tell me, Masaki?"

 

When? How? Shit!

 

Jun spun around and clasped his hand securely over Aiba's mouth. "Nothing!"

 

Sakurai stared at him through narrowed eyes. His expression turned cold and Jun could only guess that the doctor thought that they were talking about THAT night. He grabbed his coat and left the two residents without a second look.

 

When the door closed, Jun let go of Aiba, who started panting heavily. After a few moments, he wheezed. "Next time, try not to suffocate me."

 

"Sorry! But I really don't want Sakurai-sensei to think that he is overworking me or something like that. I'm fine. I'm used to this. I lost about 5kg before the board exams."

 

Aiba seemed lost in thought for a second, and then he asked. "But didn't Sho-chan react in a weird way? Has anything happened between the two of you?"

 

Jun thought about fleeing, but Aiba was standing in between him and the door, so he shrugged. "Not really..."

 

"Don't fool me! Sho-chan is not like that normally!"

 

"To me he is!" Jun hissed.

 

It was true. Although working together somehow worked out, Sakurai never talked to him about private stuff and didn't try to get to know Jun in any way. While working he was nice, but in breaks or in the locker room he wouldn't talk to Jun, and if Jun disturbed Sakurai in his break, Sakurai would give him the cold shoulder.

 

Obviously, Sakurai had settled on treating Jun like a stranger outside of work and even in front of the other residents he would be stricter with him, as if trying to prove to him that he didn't belong at this prestigeous hospital.

 

This only made Jun work harder and stay later in the evening. He knew that it was useless, but he found himself trying to get any form of praise from his supervisor.

 

"Anyways, we'll be meeting at the bar at eight, if you feel like joining us. They also have great food, so that should not be an excuse."

 

Aiba acted as if nothing had happened. This was probably one of his stronger qualities.

 

"Thanks. I'll try to make it!" Jun smiled. "Have fun with the kids."

 

Aiba gave him a thumbs-up and left the locker room.

 

By noon, Jun had seen quite a number of patients and had almost as many waiting. The hospital was in the middle of Tokyo, so this was only to be expected.

 

When Jun went to get the next patient, another guy who was waiting outside stopped him and started complaining about having to wait for over 2 hours now. It took Jun some time to calm him down. A nurse came to take over and let Jun get his next patient.

 

The next time he looked at the clock it was already half past five and he was starting to feel the lack of food. Unfortunately, most patients didn't care about their doctor, so he just ignored the feeling and continued.

 

Sometimes he met Sakurai in between patients, but they didn't talk much, both too caught up in their work.

 

Jun would never understand why people decided to come to the ER with symptoms they had been having for over a week now. He had just talked to a woman who had had a fever a week ago and now wanted to make sure that everything was fine. And out of all places to go, she had chosen the emergency room.

 

Jun sighed. His shift should have ended an hour before, but he had five reports left to write. He had found an empty treatment room and had just started on report number two when the door opened.

 

Out of reflex, he got up, and suddenly the world turned black. He barely managed to catch himself on the edge of the desk and tried to look normal while his vision slowly returned. When it did, he found himself eye to eye with Sakurai.

 

Without a word, Sakurai turned and stepped past Jun. He opened a drawer in the cupboard behind him and pulled out an i.v. kit and a bag of 20% glucose. Before Jun could even ask why Sakurai had come here to get simple stuff like that, the doctor grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down on the treatment table, towering over him.

 

"I just talked to Aiba-kun who called me to ask where you were. He said you were supposed to meet him an hour ago but didn't show up. He told me he could not reach you, so he called me. He also told me about your little talk this morning."

 

Jun paled visibly.

 

"When was the last time you ate? Or drank anything?"

 

"I..." Jun faltered. He actually couldn't remember. "Lunch?" he offered.

 

Sakurai shook his head. "You didn't eat at lunch, don't take me for a fool."

 

This whole situation was really awkward. Sakurai seemed furious with him though he had no idea what he had done wrong.

 

Before he could react in any way, Sakurai grabbed his wrist and straightened out his fingers.

 

"Ow!" Jun shouted and leapt to his feet. He felt his vision blackening for the second time in five minutes. Sakurai steered him back to the treatment table and picked up his bleeding finger. The one he had stabbed with a sharp needle, causing Jun to jump.

 

He smeared some blood on a test strip and read out the glucometer. "Your blood sugar is at 50 mg/dl which is seriously low for a normal, healthy person."

 

Jun looked down, not wanting to meet the eyes of his supervisor.

 

"You have two choices. Either you get some food and some water right now or I'm gonna hook you up to this." He raised his hand carrying the i.v. bag. 

 

"I'm fine. I'll eat when I finish my reports." Jun replied, becoming more irritated by the second. "Sakurai-sensei." He added, stressing the 'sensei'.

 

He tried to get up again and this time the blackness caught up to him.

 

The next thing Jun remembered was lying on the treatment table, looking up at a bag of glucose hanging on the i.v. pole. He groaned and looked at his forearm, where someone had taped the needle.

 

"Welcome back." Sakurai greeted him in a dangerously low voice. "You passed out, so I decided to force-feed you. Aiba-kun will be here any minute to pick you up and bring you home. You will take the day off tomorrow and I'll see you again on Monday. Try to get some food and some sleep."

 

He sighed and ran a hand over his eyes.

 

"Seriously, one should think you'd know better than pass out from a lack of food. I'm supposed to be taking care of patients and not residents overworking themselves."

 

"Sorry..." Jun looked away, unable to meet Sakurais eyes. "It won't happen again."

 

Sakurai sighed again and gave a short laugh. "I'm not so sure about that. You strike me as the type that doesn't know where to stop. Seriously, you're doing fine, but try to take care of your own body."

 

He got up and walked over to Jun's side. "How are you feeling?"

 

Jun almost choked at the sudden question. It was almost as if Sakurai actually cared about him.

 

"Okay, I guess."

 

"Are you still dizzy?"

 

To be honest... a bit. But I'm fine." Jun tried to sit up and groaned.

 

"Stay down, until Aiba gets here." Sakurai actually smiled and let his eyes roam over Jun's body.

 

Thinking about what had just happened... He was lying on the treatment table, which meant Sakurai must have caught him and hoisted him up there. Just thinking about being that close to the hot doctor made Jun blush in embarrassment.

 

But before Jun could say anything, the door opened again and Aiba entered.

 

"Seriously, Matsujun. That's what I was talking about! I was really worried!" Aiba turned around and glared at Sakurai.

 

"Sho-chan! You have to cut Matsujun some slack; he has just started. Don't make him stay that late. He does need some time to take care of his own body."

 

Jun really felt uncomfortable watching his friend scolding his supervisor. He didn't need Aiba to fight his battles for him. Especially battles he really didn't want to fight.

 

"I'm fine..." Jun tried to stop him, but both Sakurai and Aiba sent him a death glare to shut him up.

 

"The one lying on the treatment table has no right to interfere!" Aiba told him in a stern voice and turned back to Sakurai.

 

"I never forced him to stay that long and not take breaks!" Sakurai sounded a bit irritated. "That's all on him."  
  


"I've known you for long enough. You don't notice, but you always pressure your residents and interns like that. Do you remember the one you made cry?"

 

Aiba had said in the morning that Sakurai was not like that. Obviously, he had tried to comfort Jun.

 

While the two others were fighting about him, Jun decided that he could probably make a run for it. But when he sat up, he felt the blood rush from his head and the dizziness returned full force. He clasped his hand around the needle in his arm and pulled it out in a swift motion. Of course, it started bleeding freely.

 

His noise of slight discomfort made the others turn around and Sakurai rushed to his side in an instant.

 

"Are you like a special kind of stupid?"

 

Aiba handed him two swabs he pressed down on the tiny wound.

 

Jun decided not to answer that question. This would probably make matters even worse.

 

Aiba mustered him while Sakurai taped the swabs to his arm. "Can you stand?"

 

Jun nodded and got up. He did need to catch himself on the edge of the table again. Aiba took his arm and wound it around his shoulder like he was some kind of drunk not able to walk anymore.

 

"Matsumoto, I'll see you on Monday. Don't even think about coming in tomorrow. Aiba-kun, take care of that idiot."

 

Sakurai waved them out and left Jun at Aiba's mercy.

 

"He likes you!" Aiba exclaimed and squealed a bit when he saw Jun blush. "And you like him!"


	4. Cheerleader No. 1

  1. Cheerleader Number 1



Jun spent the weekend alternating between sleeping, eating and doing some light sports. He didn't want to admit it, but passing out had taken a toll on his body and he was quite glad to have an extra day off.

 

When he got to work on Monday, Aiba was waiting for him in the locker room, sitting next to a big box.

 

"He does like you!" Aiba greeted Jun and waved at the box. Curiously Jun stepped closer and picked up the piece of paper lying on top of the box.

 

'Now you don't have an excuse not to eat.

S.S.'

 

His heart skipped a beat and he opened the box cautiously. It was filled with protein shakes, energy bars and all kinds of high-caloric foods. Jun blushed furiously. Sakurai was going a bit overboard with this.

 

Aiba had stepped closer and looked over Jun's shoulder.

 

"Sho-chan really values food. If you don't take it, he will be very upset." He chimed and Jun froze.

 

"Don't say you are not happy! I can see you smiling." It was true that Jun was a bit happy about this. Maybe Sakurai didn't hate him that much. But then his heart plummeted again. He should really not be falling for the doctor. He had made quite clear that he didn't want to have sex a second time. Let alone date Jun.

 

Looking at Aiba, Jun sighed. "Can we meet tonight? I have something I want to talk to you about..."

 

"Sure! But now I'm curious! I'm gonna pick you up in the ER at half past 5 and don't be late."

 

Aiba left him and the box alone and before heading up to the ER, Jun pocketed an energy bar and a protein shake. His pockets were bulging out, but he guessed that Sakurai would actually be happy seeing this.

 

In fact, the only thing that hinted at Sakurai being worried or anything was when he showed up in Jun's treatment room around noon and ordered. "Break. Now."

 

Knowing better than to fight his supervisor, Jun followed him to the staff room and got the protein shake out of his pocket.

 

If Jun had seen Sakurai's face, he would have guessed Sakurai looked happy, but he wasn't facing him, instead rummaging through the fridge in one of the corners. He produced a box with sandwiches.

 

This time Jun had come prepared. "Sensei, do you mind handing me that blue box?"

Sakurai took out the blue Obento-box and handed it over to Jun.

 

"Thank you."

 

In silence, they started eating. Jun could see how Sakurai eyed his bento. He had brought rice, grilled eel and shellfish. Compared to his elaborate bento, Sakurai's sandwiches looked sad, and before he knew what he was doing, he pushed his half finished bento across the table towards Sakurai.

 

"Try this!"

 

Sakurai actually looked insecure. "I'm fine, I've eaten enough and you've already taken care of my calorie deficiency." Jun raised the energy bar and took a bite.

 

Without a second thought Sakurai started digging in.

 

Seemingly, Aiba had a special kind of radar for situations like this and entered that moment.

 

"Oh, Sho-chan, Matsujun! I just wanted to make sure you'd take a break, but Sho-chan seems to have taken care of that."

 

He sat down next to Sakurai and eyed his bento. "Sho-chan, I thought you didn't cook. Or did you find a girlfriend?"

 

Sakurai blushed at that question and just pointed his chopsticks at Jun.

 

"You made this?" Aiba snatched the chopsticks that Jun had just put down and stole a piece of eel from the box Sakurai was... well, it seemed like he was trying to hide it from his friend.

 

"Oh, wow! This is good!" He tried to snatch a second piece, but Sakurai pulled the box away. Jun didn't quite believe his eyes.

 

"Get your own resident to cook for you!"

 

"I AM a resident." Aiba reminded him. "Really, Jun-chan, you should cook more often!"

 

Jun didn't understand how he had become Jun-chan in an instant, but started laughing. "It really is nothing. I just like good food."

 

"And you sure know how to make good food." Sakurai added. It seemed like he was slowly warming up to Jun.

 

In the end Jun had to admit that this actually had been fun.

 

"I'm gonna see you later!" Aiba called as he left for his ward. "I'm really curious about what you wanted to tell me."

 

Jun blushed. Sakurai just raised an eyebrow in question, but didn't ask.

 

As promised Aiba picked him up at half past five and the left for a nice restaurant close to the hospital. After they had ordered their food, Aiba leaned across the table.

 

"So what did you want to tell me? That you're falling for Sho-chan and need my help?"

Jun shook his head.

 

"It's a bit more complicated..." He took a breath and continued. "I already met Sakurai-sensei before I started working here once. Well- okay, this is awkward. You do realize I prefer men?"

 

Aiba nodded. "I figured, but then everyone is free to like whomever they want to, so I don't actually care."

 

"Thanks. So, I went to this single party and ended up taking a guy home. We had sex and..."

 

He stopped and hoped Aiba would figure out the rest.

 

"That guy was Sho-chan?"

 

Jun nodded. "So you see why working with him is kinda hard on me. He also recognized me and told me on my first day that I was nothing but a quick fuck to him." Jun swallowed and looked down.

 

"But now you also kinda like him and need my help?"

 

"Technically, no. I do like him, somehow. Even though I don't think he feels the same way, as he has told me before. But I don't need your help. I just wanted to tell you, so you'd understand why I sometimes act like I do."

 

Aiba shrugged. "I think you are being a bit too hard on Sho-chan. He is a pretty decent guy, and I think he also likes you."

 

Jun shook his head. "Best case scenario: He respects me. I don't think he likes me."

 

"I've known him for some time and while he is known for being strict, he usually doesn't worry that much over others."  
  


"Well, you did set him up."

 

"But I didn't text me 15 times over the weekend asking for updates on your condition. And I didn't buy you a huge box of snacks."

 

Aiba started rummaging through his backpack and pulled out his phone. He opened LINE and started reading out. "'Did you get Jun-kun home safely?'" He paused. "When you're not around he calls you Jun-kun or other nice names." He snickered and Jun was not quite sure if he was messing with him.

 

"'Have you heard anything from Matsujun? Is he okay?'- Seriously, next time I'm gonna send him your number."

 

Jun felt the urge to leave growing. Aiba was enjoying this way too much. Sakurai would never write texts like that. He would never call him anything else than Matsumoto and he certainly didn't like him. Aiba was just messing with him.

 

"This is actually kind of cute." Aiba giggled. "Two of my friends falling for each other and not realizing themselves. I actually called Sho-chan out in my last mail, but he just told me that he was allowed to worry about his - HIS- resident."

 

"I'm not falling for Sakurai-sensei!" Jun was almost shouting.

 

Luckily their food arrived and he could start eating, not having to talk anymore. When he finished, he looked up and just said.

 

"Please, this is nothing to joke about."

 

He got up and left, feeling like he had just lost his only friend in the hospital.

 

In the evening, Jun got a mail from Aiba including links to all of Sakurai's social media and a big number of pictures from their student days. Seriously, what was with that guy?

Jun did spend his night looking through the pictures though.

 

The next day, he was dead on his feet. He had slept for about two hours and Sakurai only pointed at an empty room and ordered him to sleep some more before he would treat patients like that.


	5. Not his brightest idea

  1. Not his brightest idea



Two weeks later, nothing had happened so far. Though sometimes Jun would eat together with Sakurai, they had settled in and it seemed to him that Sakurai was comfortable with this, keeping his distance mostly.

 

Aiba seemed a bit sad, but then you could never tell.

 

As usually their friend interrupted their comfortable silence during lunch.

 

"Sho-chan, Matsujun! Here!" He passed both of them some kind of formal card.

"I'm celebrating my birthday and you have to come!"

 

Jun looked at the card. It was an invitation dating time and place. "The 24th of December?"

 

"I'm my own Christmas present!" Aiba grinned.

 

"I'll be there!" Jun carefully stored the card in his pocket and got up, cleaning up his empty dishes and leaving Aiba and Sakurai.

 

To be honest, Jun had spent an embarrassingly long time looking for a good present for Aiba before settling on a comfortable pair of pants he thought the other one would like. He spent an even longer time on choosing his outfit. Sakurai would be there and even though Jun would never admit it, he did want to impress Sakurai.

 

In the end, Jun decided not to go overboard and settled for a pair of black jeans and a nice purple shirt.

 

He was among the first people to reach the designated bar where Aiba had booked a room to celebrate.

 

"Matsujun!" Aiba looked really happy that he had come and handed him a glass of sparkling wine. "You came!"

 

Jun hugged him and wished him a happy birthday, handing him the present. "I hope you like it..." He added and looked down while Aiba ripped the paper open.

 

"Oh, wow! They look really comfortable!" Aiba held the pants to his hips and smiled. "I'm gonna go change!"

 

He left Jun standing in the middle of the room with only his sparkling wine as company. Without a second thought, Jun downed the glass. He hoped the wine might help him relax.

 

"Jun-kun!" It was Ohno, accompanied by Nino. "Long time no see! How are you?"

 

"Good, and you?" It was nice to see some familiar faces.

 

The two others dragged Jun to a table and ordered a round of beer for everyone.

 

"How is the ER?" Ohno asked. "Is Sho-kun treating you alright?"

 

Jun smiled and nodded. "It's busy, but fun. I enjoy being able to do something."

 

They kept on talking for some time, Ohno ordering drinks as soon as they had finished theirs. At some point Nino switched to water, but Jun actually didn't care. He had spotted Sakurai a few minutes earlier and while the doctor looked as hot as always, he didn't even spare a smile for Jun or anything.

 

At some point, Aiba joined them.

 

"What about a game?" He asked, beaming at everyone. By now Jun was feeling the pleasant buzz of the alcohol and nodded. "Great idea!"

 

"Let's play 'Never have I ever'." Nino suggested. He was playing it safe with his glass of apple juice, but no one actually cared.

 

"I'll start!" Aiba exclaimed and raised his glass. "Never have I ever kissed a girl."

 

"Boring!" All of them were drinking.

 

"Never have I ever kissed a guy." Nino added and all except Aiba raised their glasses.

 

They continued for a few rounds, their glasses being emptied and refilled at a high pace.

 

"What are you doing?" Asked a stern voice from behind Jun's back. He tilted his head back until he could see the slightly blurry outline of a very hot guy behind him.

 

"We're playing 'Never have I ever'. Join us!" Aiba beamed at the person and it took Jun some time to realize that he had just invited Sakurai to join their game.

 

Aiba turned back to his friends and added. "Never have I ever had a crush on someone at the hospital."

 

Jun almost choked on his drink when he saw Sakurai's eyes resting on him. The older man didn't have a drink yet, so he carefully pried Jun's hands away from his glass and took a big gulp.

 

Jun was felling hot all over. Why did the other one have such a strong effect on him?

 

Aiba gave him a soft shove. "Your turn, Matsujun."

 

In the meanwhile Sakurai's drink had arrived and he passed Jun's glass back. It was almost empty, so he ordered a new one.

 

After a few seconds of thinking, he blurted out. "Never have I ever had sex with a guy." All while keeping his eyes fixed on Sakurai.

 

Everyone except Aiba took a swing from their glasses and only now Jun noticed that Ohno and Nino were holding hands under the table.

 

Nino seemed to have noticed his glance and an evil grin spread over his face. "Never have I ever fucked a guy at this table."

 

Ohno was turning a deep shade of crimson, while he took a sip from his glass. But no one was looking at him. They were all staring at Sakurai, who drained his glass and put it down, smiling at Jun who was slowly turning the same colour as the surgeon beside him.

 

Jun got up and stumbled against the table. "I need to pee!" He blurted out and left as fast as he could.

 

Sakurai was laughing and he felt as humiliated as ever.

 

Sakurai probably knew about Jun's feelings and was just making fun of him. But he really didn't need to basically tell everyone about how he fucked Jun, how pitiful Jun's crush on him was, how he only saw Jun as a quick fuck.

 

The door of the toilet opened and someone knocked on his cubicle.

 

"Matsujun?" It was Ohno. So Sakurai didn't even have the decency to face Jun now.

 

He unlocked the door and buried his face in his hands. A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder and gave a small squeeze.

 

"Are you ok?"

 

Jun shook his head, and to add insult to injury he felt tears welling up.

 

"Come on." Ohno pried his hands away from his face and pulled him into a hug. "It's gonna be alright. Aiba told me about what happened between the two of you and it's going to be fine!"

 

Jun just sobbed. The alcohol made it almost impossible to stop.

 

"Nothing's going to be fine!" He declared. "He hates me!"

 

Ohno rested his hand on Jun's head and sighed. "I don't think Sho-kun hates you."

 

"But he..." Jun stopped, unable to continue. He took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly.

 

After a few minutes Jun felt, like he could face the others again. When he finally stumbled back to the table (the alcohol did make walking a bit difficult), Sakurai was gone.

 

"Are you okay?" Nino asked.

 

Jun nodded. He didn't feel like talking right now. Keeping his head low, he turned to Aiba. "Sorry for ruining your birthday party!"

 

Always cheerful Aiba only nodded. He looked a bit sad and Jun felt his chest tighten.

When he looked up, he saw Sakurai approaching the table, carrying a glass of clear liquid.

 

Hectically Jun got up, bumping into Aiba and apologized. "I'm gonna leave now. Sorry again. Enjoy the rest of your party."

 

Dodging Sakurai, he hurried out of the bar and waved for a taxi.

 

The next morning had Jun hugging his toilet while throwing up until there was nothing left but sour bile. He was not quite sure if today or yesterday deserved the title of "worst day ever" more. Both Aiba and Ohno had texted him at some point during the night.

Both were asking if he got home okay, how he was feeling and so on.

 

Jun had just replied that he was feeling like crap, but he got home safe. Have a nice Christmas and so on.

 

Every time he tried drinking even water, he found himself throwing up again and he was slowly getting worried about dehydration. The last time he had left the bathroom he had thrown up in the kitchen sink, so he now had dragged a blanket to the bathroom and was lying on the cold tiles, looking up at the blurry ceiling and regretting every choice in his life he had ever made, starting with studying medicine.

 

He heard someone ring his doorbell, but didn't feel like getting up. The ringing continued and at some point his phone had started buzzing, but he ignored it.

 

He only startled when he heard a key turning in his lock, but when he tried to get up, his head started to swim and his must have passed out because the next thing he remembered was lying in his bed.

 

Turning his head, he saw Nino sitting at his desk, playing on his Nintendo.

 

"What...? How...?" He groaned. Nino turned around and put his Nintendo down.

 

"So you're awake. How are you feeling?"

 

"Like crap. What happened?"

 

Nino sighed and ran a hand over his face.

 

"I texted you, called you, but you didn't reply. And somehow I got worried, because you had quite a lot to drink yesterday and I was afraid that you had choked on your own vomit. So I came here, but you didn't open so I had your landlord open the door for me. Turns out you weren't dead, just severely dehydrated."

 

He gestured at the i.v. bag he had hung on the curtain rod beside Jun's bed.

 

Nino stepped over and eyed Jun cautiously. "You did give yourself a nice shiner while going down and busted your eyebrow. I put in a few stiches while you were unconscious."

 

That explained his headache. Carefully, Jun let his fingers wander over his swollen eye. He had a few days off, but this would last longer than his holiday.

 

"Thank you. And sorry for the bother."

 

Nino shrugged. "At least you're not dead and I was bored anyway... No, stay down! I'm pretty sure you also have a concussion."

 

He pressed Jun back down on the bed, when he tried to get up. In between gritted teeth Jun managed a short. "I need to throw up!" Before he rolled to the side and proceeded to vomit on the floor. Thankfully, he didn't hit Nino, who had taken a step back.

 

"I have to work later, so I texted Aiba to come and take care of you."

 

"I'm fine. I'll survive." Jun gave a short smile. "Thank you for your help."

 

Around an hour later, Aiba arrived.

 

"Matsujun, you really suck at taking care of yourself." He mused, while sitting down by Jun's bedside. Sleepily, Jun opened his eye (the one not swollen shut) and tried to glare at his friend, but ended up looking more pitiful than intimidating.

 

"How was the party?" He asked, keeping his eyes closed.

 

Aiba sighed. "It was fun, but you should have stayed. Sho-chan really didn't mean to make fun of you. Sometimes you're a bit over sensitive."

 

"I was drunk." Jun deadpanned. "And he was teasing me. And I really don't want to get my hopes back up, to have them crushed again."

 

Without replying Aiba got up. "I'm going to make some food."

 

When he got back to work three days later, he had been assigned to a new doctor.

 


	6. Weakness

6\. Weakness

The next two months passed in a blur. The new doctor, Ishikawa-sensei, the one he had actually been assigned to in the beginning, was working him hard. Compared to him, Sakurai had actually been pleasant to work with. 

He sometimes met Sakurai in the break room or on the hallway, but they acted as if they had never even known each other. Nevertheless, Jun hated himself for still having this crush on Sakurai, who had clearly shown how much he despised Jun, even asking his superiors to assign him to another doctor.

In February, the influenza wave hit them hard. Jun had to stay late every night to take care of patients coming in with the classical symptoms, admitting about half of them. They were short staffed since the vaccine didn't cover this year’s strain and now they were all forced to wear facemasks while working.

"Matsumoto-san!" A nursed hurried over to him when he arrived the next morning. "Ishikawa-sensei called in sick for the week. The head of department asked Sakurai-sensei to take care of you this week."

Jun cringed at the prospect of working with Sakurai again. It sucked that he still had to have someone sign off the diagnosis and the treatment he prescribed, but he was no "real" doctor yet, so there was that.

It did go better than expected when they met again. Sakurai just nodded at him and sent him working.

At lunch Jun was almost sad that Sakurai didn't come to get him for their break, but then this had been to be expected. 

They didn't really talk much during their time working together, so Jun was not too unhappy with the situation. He still felt his heart rate rise when he met the doctor, but Sakurai treated him well enough and remained professionally neutral.

On Monday, the nurse told him that Ishikawa-sensei was still sick, so he needed to work with Sakurai for another week.

Since getting up Jun had felt a bit worse for wear. His body felt heavier than usual and he was feeling a bit chilly. 

Probably a cold, he was prone to catch one sooner or later. He usually did and working with sick people really didn't help. 

Sakurai greeted him with a short nod and told him about the staff meeting at 2 p.m. before they both started treating patients.

It was noon when it hit him. One moment he was working on his last report, the next he was feeling cold all over. He had started shaking and at some point during the morning weird coughing fits had crept up on him. Somewhere among his blurry thoughts it hit him that this was bad. He still had some time before the staff meeting so he dragged his body over to the treatment table, grabbed a blanket and decided to lie down for a second. He would be fine later on, but right now he was feeling awful.

"Matsumoto-san?" Someone was calling his name, but Jun didn't have the energy to open his eyes. He tried a short hum, but the person was shaking his shoulder, forcing him to turn his head. 

A cool hand came to rest on his forehead and he heard the other one curse. The nice cool hand left and he gave a short whine, indicating his discomfort. As a result he started coughing.

The other person shoved something in his ear and Jun heard a small beep seconds later.

"Shit! Matsumoto-kun? Matsujun? Can you hear me?"

Jun rolled over and tried to cover his ears. That person was way too loud. He just wanted to sleep. 

With a loud bang, the door closed and he winced again. Somewhere at the edge of his consciousness, he heard someone call for a nurse. Then the blackness took him again.

When he opened his eyes again it was way too bright and Jun whined. He heard someone hurry over to his side.

"Matsumoto-kun?" He knew this voice, but he couldn't place it.

"How are you feeling?"

Jun didn't feel like talking. He groaned and raised an arm to rest it over his eyes. He had to clear his throat before he could talk, but doing so made him start coughing again.

"I turned off the light, you can open your eyes."

The world around him was a bit blurry. Outside, it was already dark. When he turned to his right, he looked right into the worried face of Sakurai who then crouched down and carefully brushed a stray strand of hair from his face and let his hand linger on Jun's forehead.

"Sakurai-sensei!" Jun croaked. The doctor nodded and smiled a gentle smile.

"I found you passed out with a high fever in one of the examination rooms." Sakurai got up and patted down the blanket until he found a spot where he could sit.

"The influenza test was as positive as it can be."

Looking around Jun could see the interior of a hospital room in the dim light. He was hooked up to an i.v. and was wearing an oxygen mask.

"I'm sorry." Jun muttered and turned his head away from Sakurai.

"What for? It's not your fault that you got sick, and I guess it hit you pretty hard so that you didn't really have the strength to tell someone."

They stayed silent for a few minutes and Jun closed his eyes again. He was hurting all over and felt both hot and cold at the same time. At some point Sakurai had started gently patting his head, but Jun didn't have the energy to tell him to stop. Also, he didn't really want him to stop.

When Sakurai's hand left, Jun actually let out a small whine. Sakurai laughed. "I'm going to be right back, I just need to take your temperature."

Brushing back his hair, Sakurai inserted the thermometer in his ear and waited for the beep.

"Hm, you're still at 39.6°C, but that's better than before."

"How high...?" Jun didn't finish his question, but the doctor had understood.

"40.8°C. No wonder you passed out."

They stayed silent for some more time and Jun found himself drifting off to sleep. The last thing he heard was a small "I'm sorry." but he couldn't really make sense of it.

Jun kept on drifting in and out of sleep. Sometimes he was feeling hot; sometimes he was shaking from the cold. Sometimes he felt a soft touch on his forehead, something cold being pressed to his face, and he felt safe again.

It must have been around midnight when the urge to pee overcame him and he was unable to fall back asleep. With a soft grunt he sat up and had to pause at the swimming sensation in his head. He started coughing again and reached for the light.

When he tried to get up, he remembered the oxygen mask and the i.v. he was still connected to. Probably better to ring for a nurse.

"Matsumoto-kun?" Asked a sleepy voice and Jun flinched. He hadn't even noticed that he wasn't alone.   
"What are you doing?"

"I need to use the toilet..." 

Sakurai ran a hand over his face and yawned. "Wait a minute, I'll help you."

It seemed like Sakurai had slept in the chair pulled up to his bedside, and Jun felt his heart skip a beat. 

Sakurai got up. He was still wearing his scrubs and Jun felt bad for keeping him there, but then again, Jun hadn't asked for it.

Sakurai leaned over and carefully pulled the mask off. He then gently took Jun's hand and unclamped the pulse oximeter Jun hadn't realized he was wearing.

Muting the alarm, Sakurai unhooked the i.v. stand from where it had been connected to the power outlet. He pushed the i.v. stand forward so Jun could grab it and use it as a crutch. He then stepped around Jun and offered him a hand, which Jun took. He was feeling not too stable on his feet, so he was thankful for the help.

In a slow shuffle, they made their way to the toilet and Sakurai left him alone while he took care of his basic needs.

When Jun was back in bed, he turned to Sakurai. "You don't have to stay. I guess you must be tired. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

Sakurai just shrugged. "I wanted to stay. You had me really worried. I still am."

He took Jun's hand, and Jun wondered why he was acting like this all out of the sudden.

"Please..." Jun's voice broke and he had to take another shaky breath. "You told me that I was nothing but a quick fuck for you, so please don't get my hopes back up."

Sakurai turned away and sighed. "That was in the beginning, but let's talk about this tomorrow. You need to rest."

Without noticing, Jun must have drifted off to sleep. When he woke up the next morning, he was alone. He would have preferred to stay asleep. He was hurting all over, his head ached, he kept on coughing and to top this off, he felt like throwing up. This was probably the worst he had ever felt. He didn't even have the energy to open his eyes or sit up.

"Matsumoto-san?" A female voice called him and he grunted in response. "I'm the nurse responsible for you today, Kurihara. I'm gonna take your temperature." She inserted the thermometer in his ear, a feeling Jun despised.

"39.9°C" She sounded a bit upset. "I'm going to ask the doctor to prescribe some more antipyretics. Do you feel like drinking or eating anything?"

Jun moved his head softly not to increase his headache any further. Maybe he should ask to be sedated so he wouldn't feel his body any more.

"The ward round will be around 10 o'clock."

She left and Jun was alone again. Sakurai must have left at some point during the night. Jun hadn't expected him to stay. He was still trying to make sense of their conversation at midnight, but now his brain was hurting.

Jun didn't know how long he had stayed in this state but he was woken again by Aiba.

"Matsujun?" He opened his eyes, but was too weak to even try to sit up. 

Aiba pulled a chair up to the head of the bed.

"Sho-chan told me about yesterday and asked me to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." Company was nice, but Jun didn't feel like keeping a conversation.

"You look pretty sick..." Aiba sounded quite worried. Jun chose not to answer. He didn't really want to know how bad he looked. He was still wearing the oxygen mask and was sure he had sweated quite a lot during the night.

Aiba seemed to have thought the same thing and he got up and returned with a bowl with water.

"Sorry." He apologized, before he started wiping down Jun's face and neck. "Do you think you can turn over so I can reach your back?"

Usually Jun would have been embarrassed, but now he didn't care. He was quite thankful for the help. At some point he asked. "Don't you need to work?" 

"It's not that busy at the ward at the moment, so I was excused."

Eyeing the gown he was wearing, Jun asked. "Do you think you could find me some real clothes?"

Aiba shrugged. "Probably, but according to Sho-chan you sweated through 3 of these tonight so I don't know if it would be so bright to put you in real clothes."

It took Jun some time to realize what this implied. So Sakurai must have helped him get changed. He had seen him naked- well, not for the first time, but in these circumstances. Adding to the fever Jun felt the heat in his face creeping up.

Aiba seemed to have noticed and placed his hand on Jun's forehead. "You're burning up!"

"I was at almost 40°C in the morning."

Aiba gave a weak laugh. "This hit you pretty hard..."

Obviously.

After a few more minutes, Aiba left to get back to work, but promised to come by later.

"Sho-chan told me he'd be off at around 4." Aiba raised a hand and left Jun wondering what he was implying. 

At around quarter past eleven, the ward round showed up. The doctor listened to his chest and ordered the nurse to get some more fluids and antipyretics, but other than that, Jun was nothing but the average influenza patient.


	7. Confessions

  1. Confessions



 

"You should have eaten something."

 

Startled by the sudden noise Jun raised his head and looked to where the noise had come from. Sakurai was eyeing his lunch he hadn't touched. Without replying, Jun sank back into the cushions.

 

Pulling a chair with him, Sakurai sat down at his bedside.

 

"How are you feeling?"

 

Jun shrugged. He felt bad but that was obvious.

 

"Why did you come?" He asked in a shy tone.

 

Sakurai ran a hand over his face and laughed. "I was worried."

 

"Why?"

 

They stared at each other in silence but Jun had to advert his gaze when a new coughing fit overtook him.

 

"I'm sorry for how I acted the last weeks." Sakurai started. "It is true that I didn't want to work with you in the beginning, given our past. But then I found myself drawn to you and I thought it was obvious that I liked you at Aiba-kun's party, but the way you left as if it had been the worst thing to ever happen to you made me feel rejected. Aiba did tell me you had a crush on me, but I felt too hurt by your reaction and I can be quite stubborn..."

 

Sakurai kept on rambling while Jun still tried to make sense of his words.

 

At some point, Jun interrupted him. Pulling down the oxygen mask so he could talk more freely he stated. "I thought you were making fun of me. I thought you didn't like me. That you were just messing with me. That..." He started coughing again and carefully Sakurai prayed the mask from his fingers and put it back on.

 

"I really suck at flirting." Sakurai laughed. "So I'll just put it like this: I like you. Would you mind going out with me when you're better?"

 

Jun stared at him for a few seconds and then nodded as fast as he could. The motion left his head spinning. He rolled to the side and started gagging.

 

The best way to answer a question like that. Fortunately, he didn't throw up.

 

Sakurai was rubbing small circles on his back. When he had calmed down he rolled over.

 

"I'm sorry for confessing like this." Sakurai looked like he wasn't sorry.

 

"I'm sorry for my reaction." Jun tried a weak smile.

 

"Speaking of it, has your fever dropped?"

 

"I don't know. I feel as awful as before." Jun shrugged. Sakurai leaned over and rested his hand on Jun's forehead, caressing his cheek with his thumb.

 

"Wait a second." He got up to get the thermometer, but Jun grabbed his hand.

 

"Stay?" He asked and Sakurai laughed.

 

"Scoot over!" He sat down at Jun's bedside and pulled his head in his lap, running the fingers through Jun's hair.

 

After a few minutes Jun decided to try again for better clothes. "Sakurai-sensei..."

 

He couldn't finish because Sakurai interrupted him. "When we're not at work you should use my given name."

 

"Sho-kun..." Jun stopped. This felt weird, but good. "Do you think you could find me some real clothes?"

 

Sa...Sho-kun just hummed. "What do you want?"

 

"Something a bit warmer?" Jun felt a bit cold and had started shaking without noticing.

 

Pushing Jun off his lap Sho got up and hurried over to the cabinet where they kept the thermometer. When Jun was cold that meant his fever was rising again.

 

Jun was still trying to understand where his nice pillow went.

 

"I'm sorry." Sho pulled up the blanket so Jun was covered again and pushed the thermometer in his ear.

 

When he looked at the tiny screen his face clouded over.

 

"You're on the rise again. 40.1°C. I'll get a cool cloth and some antipyretics."

 

When Sho returned, Jun was asleep. Carefully, he pushed a stray strand of hair from his face and marvelled at the beauty of whom he was dating now. Well, Jun was pale spare his cheeks which were tainted red by the fever. His hair was a bit greasy but still- the most beautiful human being he had seen in some time.

 

He gently started wiping down Jun's face. Jun stirred and Sho stopped for a second. When he finished, he folded the cloth and placed it on Jun's fever-warm forehead.

 

"Sho-chan?" Aiba opened the door and entered. "How is he doing?"

 

"He's hanging in there." Sho let his hand wander over Jun's hair, weaving his fingers through the hair of the younger man.

 

"You've made up?"

 

Sho nodded. "He agreed to go out with me when he's well enough."

 

Aiba laughed. "Can you wait that long?"

 

 

When Jun was released three days later, Sho insisted on taking him home. Jun was still running a fever, though a significantly lower one than in the beginning. The worst thing was how weak he felt, he couldn't even make it to the exit of the hospital on his own, and in the end Aiba and Sho were almost carrying him.

 

"Do you understand now why I wouldn't leave you alone like this?" Sho asked when they had laid Jun down in the backseat of the car. Jun murmured something among the lines of "mother hen", but Sho chose to take it as a yes.

 

If Jun had not been so tired, he would have admired Sho's apartment, which was about twice the size of his, but the only place he wanted to be now was a bed.

 

Sho helped him over to the bedroom where Jun froze. Well, it had been expected, but he had not thought about this before. There was only one bed and the last thing he wanted was to make Sho sleep on the couch.

 

"What's wrong?" Sho asked when he saw the face of his boyfriend (? They hadn't even kissed yet...).

 

"Where will you sleep?" Jun sounded quite shy as he asked.

 

"I'll take a futon."

 

"But... I don't want to keep you from sleeping in your own bed..."

 

Jun had started leaning away from Sho, too ashamed to face him. He felt really bad for imposing himself on Sho.

 

Sho tried to stir Jun towards the bed, but Jun refused to follow.

 

"Don't be stubborn!" Sho scolded. "Of course we can share, but I thought you'd be more comfortable alone. But I won't let you sleep on the floor, forget it!"

 

Jun almost slipped from his grip when his knees decided to give in. Without caring for his protests Sho lifted him up and placed him on the bed.

 

"You're still sick, get some rest. I'll go make some food."

 

Even though he did not agree, Jun had to admit that he was feeling pretty worn out so he climbed under the blanket and closed his eyes. The pillow smelled like Sho and he buried his nose in it. That was how Sho found him fifteen minutes later.

 

"Jun?" Sho sat down on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on Jun's shoulder. "I made soup, do you feel like eating?"

 

Jun shook his head and pulled the blanket over his head. Carefully uncovering him, Sho started laughing when he saw his hair. He ruffled his head with a hand and let it linger on his forehead.

 

"Has your fever gone up again?"

 

Jun shrugged, pressed his face into the pillow and took a deep breath. As a result he started coughing.

 

"Don't suffocate yourself." Sho laughed. Now that Jun was clearly on his way back to health, Sho found it quite funny how much of a diva Jun could be.

 

"It smells nice." The pillow muffled Jun's voice.

 

"I smell nicer." Sho offered and turned Jun around. Overcome by a sudden urge, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Jun's slightly chapped lips.

 

Jun immediately pulled away.

 

"What are you doing? What will you do if you catch the flu from me?"

 

"If I would catch it, I would have caught it by now." It was true- Sho had spent most of his free time in Jun's room and had ditched the mask after a day.

 

Sho crawled on the bed and climbed on top of Jun. Almost crushing Jun under him, he pinned Jun's arms down and proceeded to kiss him.

 

He only pulled away when Jun sneezed right in his face.

 

"See- I'm disgusting!" Jun cried and turned to the side. To his embarrassment, Jun could feel tears pricking in his eyes. It sucked how much he turned into a crybaby whenever he was sick.

 

"You're not. You're adorable! And you can't help being sick." Sho brushed away the stray tear on Jun's cheek and kissed the spot before he got back up again. "You still need to eat."

 

Jun managed to eat about half of his soup before he felt like throwing up. He carefully placed the bowl down on the bedside table and took a few deep breaths.

 

"Are you done already? Did it taste bad?" Sho sounded a bit worried and Jun hated himself for making him worry like this. Better not tell him how bad he felt.

 

"I'm full... It was great, but I'm still getting used to eating again."

 

Sho eyed him in a way that Jun was pretty sure he had blown his cover. What he hadn't expected was Sho to grab his face and pull him closer until their foreheads touched.

 

"You feel warmer than earlier." Sho mentioned and got up. He left the room and returned minutes later carrying his first aid kit.

 

With a disapproving glance Sho eyed the thermometer.

 

"38.5°C. I had hoped it'd be lower." With a sigh he sat down at Jun's side and ruffled his hair.

 

"Do you want to take a bath before going to bed?"

 

Jun's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he nodded. For the last days, he hadn't been able to shower because he was still too weak to stand up for longer than a few minutes and the hospital had no real bathtubs.

 

Sho helped him to the bathroom and started opening the buttons to Jun's pyjamas. Jun was blushing furiously, but Sho chose to ignore him. In a second step he started undressing and this time Jun actually reacted.

 

"I'll be fine alone!"

 

Sho laughed. "No, you won't. Also, the tub is big enough for both of us. Don't be shy, you know I've seen you naked."

 

Running his fingertips along Jun's collarbone Sho sighed.

 

"But you have to eat some more. I don't even want to know how much weight you've lost due to your flu."

 

To be honest, the bath was great. Sho helped him wash his hair, and it had been ages since he had felt so safe and clean. With a soft hum, Jun leaned back and rested his head in the small dip between Sho's chin and his collarbone. Sho had started massaging his scalp and Jun started to drift off to sleep.

 

"Hey, no drowning on my watch!" Sho pulled him up when his face dipped down under the surface.

 

"Sorry." Jun rubbed at his eyes. "This is the best I've felt in some weeks."

 

Sho helped him out of the bathtub into new clothes and lead him back to bed. Jun was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

 

He only woke up once when Sho climbed in the bed behind him and started spooning him.

 

When he started to come to the next morning, the first thing he noticed was how light his body felt. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up in bed. It was already light outside and Sho was nowhere to be seen.

 

Just when he decided to go search for him the door opened and his boyfriend entered, carrying a tray with food.

 

"Jun, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

 

Jun smiled and stretched. "I actually feel pretty good. Definitely better than the last days."

 

Sho put the tray down and palmed his forehead. "I think your fever is gone." He gave him a bright smile. "But take it easy for today, you're still recovering. What do you say to breakfast in bed?"

 

"How did I earn this?"

 

 

 


	8. The best date

  1. The best date



 

It did take Jun three more days before his fever stayed gone and he was able to stay awake longer than three hours. Sho did his best to help him recover. When he returned that evening, Jun was in the kitchen, cooking dinner.

 

"Sho-kun! Welcome home! How was work?"

 

Jun looked way too cute wearing Sho's old Keio hoodie and an apron. Without answering, Sho pulled him into a kiss.

 

"It smells amazing." He murmured, burying his face in Jun's hair.

 

Jun laughed. "It's nothing special, but since you've taken care of me for the last days, I thought that you might enjoy a home cooked meal."

 

When he got back to work on Monday, Aiba almost crushed him in a hug.

"Jun-chan! You're back!". "You still look too thin and too pale. Take it easy!"

 

"I'm fine!" Jun laughed. "Anyways, I think Sho-kun won't let me work too much."

 

"So you're at first names now? Have you already gone on a date?"

 

Jun gave him a weary glance. "I spent the last two weeks in bed, do you think we had time to go on a date?"

 

Aiba shrugged. "That's true... So do you already have an idea for a good date?"

 

He had thought about it, but after all Sho had done for him just taking him out for dinner seemed a bit lame. "Maybe dinner, but he deserves more."

 

Aiba started grinning. "I've got THE idea! Do you know the new jet coaster they opened in Fuji Q Highland? You should take Sho-chan there!"

 

"I'll think about it."

 

 

 

Later at lunch break he was still thinking about this problem.

 

"Jun?"

 

He had been thinking about the date he wanted to take Sho on, so he had been spacing out.

 

"Are you ok? Was it too early to come back to work?"

 

"No. Why? I'm fine! I was just thinking..."

 

Sho cocked his head to the side and observed him carefully. Out of reflex, Jun grabbed his hand and pulled it, so it came to rest on his forehead.

 

"See? No fever! I'm fine!"

 

"If you say so..." Sho didn't sound convinced.

 

Jun surprised himself when he said. "Let me take you out on Saturday."

 

"Where to? "

 

"It's a surprise!" He beamed at Sho, which made Sho start laughing.

 

"I'll be looking forward to it!"

 

Jun spent the remainder of the week finding out which rollercoasters were the best and which ones to avoid. He was getting excited. He loved the thrill of fast amusement rides, and Aiba knew Sho better than him and he had suggested taking him there, so Sho probably enjoyed the adrenaline rush as much as he did. Also, he had read that doing exciting things together would strengthen their bond, so it was the perfect spot for a first date.

 

On Saturday morning, Jun could barely contain his excitement. Sho was slowly getting irritated, but seemed to enjoy seeing Jun this energetic and excited.

 

"Where are we going?" He asked for the umpteenth time when Jun lead him to the bus station.

 

"It's a surprise!" Jun pouted. He had told Sho countless times, but Sho kept asking.

 

Pointing at the bus screen, Sho stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you taking me to Fuji Q Highland?"

 

Jun paled visibly. He had not thought about the fact that the bus would have the destination displayed. A bit flustered, he looked away.

 

"Aiba-kun recommended it... I hope it didn't ruin the surprise."

 

He would kill his friend the next time they met, Sho decided, but for now Jun seemed really excited and maybe it would be fun. And he'd somehow survive it.

 

While on the bus Jun kept on chattering about all the great rollercoasters and how almost all of them had made it into the Guinness book of world records. In his excitement, he didn't even notice how Sho had stopped talking almost entirely.

 

When they reached Fuji Q Highland, Jun could barely contain his excitement and didn’t even notice how silent Sho had gone. While Sho was happy about how excited Jun seemed to be, he dreaded his certain death. The rollercoasters. Maybe had been supposed to tell Jun about his fear of heights, but it had never come up and when he imagined telling Jun about it right now, he was already getting depressed just imagining the face Jun would make.

  
"Come on! We have to be fast, lining up takes time.“ Jun grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the queue of a very scary looking rollercoaster.

 

"There are fast passes, but I don’t have the money to pay for them.“ Jun looked away as if he was feeling sorry. Maybe he actually was, he looked just like a kicked puppy.

  
"It’s fine.“ Sho tried an encouraging smile and almost hit himself when he continued. "I could get some.“ But Jun started shaking his head vehemently.

 

"You already did so much for me, let me pay for this date.“

 

With a small laugh and thanking him silently Sho ruffled his hair. "Thank you for this.“

 

He had almost forgotten about the dooming evil, but it came back as he looked up while a cart filled with screaming people zoomed past right above their heads.

 

"Doesn’t it look great?“ If not for his own fear, Sho would have enjoyed seeing Jun like this. He just nodded. Slowly the queue advanced, bringing them closer to their certain death. At some point Sho decided to ask. "Aren’t you scared?“

 

Jun shrugged. "It’s perfectly safe and I enjoy the kick of adrenaline it gives you!“

 

About an hour later, Sho could confirm the kick it gave you, only that he didn't know how one could enjoy this. He was almost certain he had crushed Jun's hand and ruptured his eardrum when they suddenly went into a loop.

 

Jun beamed at him. "That was great! Which one should we try now?"

 

Wordlessly, Sho pointed to one that didn't have any loops. He was not certain if he'd throw up when he opened his mouth.

 

Before they could queue up, Jun excused himself for a bathroom break. Without a second thought Sho, dialled Aiba's number to complain about his great advice.

 

"What did you plan on doing? Scare me to death and have Jun watch?"

 

"No, it was not a great idea. You know that I hate heights."

 

"Why would it help me overcome my fear?"

 

"I'm NOT enjoying it! Do you know how hard it is to act as if I'm having fun?"

 

Sho turned around and froze. The last thing he saw was the look of betrayal on Jun's face before he turned around and started running.

 

He had to admit it- Jun was fast and in way better form than he was. Wheezing, Sho leaned against a fence. Though he had tried, he had not been able to catch up with Jun. With a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. He had fucked this up royally as he seemed to keep doing.

 

Jun had planned everything carefully and the entrance to the park was not cheap, especially considering that the hospital only paid him a small sum to cover his cost of living. He had honestly thought he would make Sho happy, was trying to repay him for nursing him back to health and what had he done? Used his first chance to call the devil's advocate to complain. And now he had no idea how to apologize or even find Jun.

It was quite impressive how fit he still was after not being able to breath on his own just two weeks earlier.

 

Killing Aiba had to wait, now he had to set this straight. But he had to find Jun for this. The park was huge and he had no idea where Jun would hide.

 

In the end, it was easier than he had anticipated. When he turned the next corner, he was faced with a small crowd that had assembled around a bench where a guy sat, coughing harshly while the people were seemingly trying to decide what to do with the young man who looked like he was on the verge of passing out.

 

Sho pushed through the crowd and sat down next to Jun. He carefully opened Jun's coat and loosened his scarf to help him breath. He then pulled the young man into a hug and started rubbing small circles on his back.

 

At some point, the coughing had turned into silent sobbing as Jun continued to bury his face in Sho's shoulder.

 

Sho sighed. "One should think you'd know better than try for a marathon after what you've just been through." He gave a small laugh, but it clearly hadn't worked. Jun just gave another sniff and pressed against him.

 

Carefully, Sho rested one of his hands on his head.

 

"I'm sorry. I should have told you about my fear of heights and I'm sorry I ruined our date."

 

After a few more sniffs Jun replied in a voice hoarse with tears. "Aiba-kun said you'd like it. I'm so sorry for forcing you on the rollercoaster and all this."  
  


They kept silent for a few minutes while the crowd had started to scatter. The death glare Sho sent those who kept lingering around made the last leave.

 

Finally, Jun pulled away and rubbed his eyes, which were red from the tears.

 

"Should we take the next bus back to Tokyo?" He asked in a small voice. He still was clearly upset, but tried to cover it.

 

Sho smiled. "I've got a better idea."

 

 

About an hour later the friendly owner of the inn lead them over tatami mats to show them to their room.

 

"The onsen is just downstairs. It is very nice at this time of the year."

 

By now, Jun had calmed down and even tried for a small smile.

 

"You didn't have to do this."

 

"I wanted to. Lets go take a nice bath."

 

Sho handed one of the yukatas the owner of the inn had left with them to Jun and started undressing. It was only when he was completely naked that he noticed how Jun had not moved.

 

With a knowing smile, Sho stepped over the pile of clothes, dropped his yukata next to it and started unbuttoning Jun's shirt. He slowly ran a finger along Jun's collarbone and leaned forward to replace it with his tongue. By then, Jun gave a small gasp and started moving, getting rid of the shirt and any other clothing that was still in the way.

 

He leaned forward and captured Sho's lips in a hungry kiss while searching for his nipples and pinching one gently. Sho replied with grabbing his ass and giving him a firm squeeze. With the other hand, he reached in between Jun's legs and gave his hardening cock a teasing stroke.

 

Jun let out a small growl and pulled Sho over to the futon laid out in a corner of the room. They didn't go down gently, bumping into each other and the walls.

 

Sho started massaging his ass cheek and Jun pulled away.

 

"I didn't bring lube or condoms..." He blushed.

 

Wordlessly Sho, got up and headed over to his bag.

 

"I came prepared." He breathed out in a husky voice while Jun felt himself quiver with anticipation.

 

He threw the bottle with lube over to the futon where it split open and started spilling its contents everywhere. With a low-pitched groan he dropped back down, grabbed the slippery bottle and squeezed a good quantity of lube on his already wet fingers.

 

"Turn over!" He ordered and Jun obeyed.

 

When he pressed in the first finger Jun started groaning.

 

"Sho-san!" He dug his fingers in the soft fabric he was lying on as if he was hanging in for his dear life.

 

Sho started trailing kisses along his backbone while he slowly inserted a second finger. Jun gasped and tried to push himself up.

 

"I..." He had to pause a second when Sho started sucking the side of his neck. "I want to feel you...in me."

 

His cock had started leaking precum and it was soaking the fabric between his legs.

 

"Patience." Sho replied and sneaked a hand between his legs, grabbing his cock.

 

When he removed his fingers, Jun started whining. "Hurry up!"

 

He ripped the package of the condom open with his teeth and let Jun watch as he slid is over his erection.

 

He let his fingers wander of the rim of Jun's entrance and without a warning replaced them with his cock, pushing hard.

 

Jun cried out and arched back as if trying to get up. "Sh...sho!"

 

Holding himself up with one hand, Sho grabbed Jun's penis with the other hand.

 

Jun barely managed to gasp out Sho's name before he started spurting all over the futon. Sho buried himself deeper with a growl and started moving, hitting Jun's sweet spot repeatedly and Jun started seeing stars.

 

With another groan, Sho came, too.

 

Jun was not fully conscious anymore when Sho climbed off of him and lay down next to him in the mess they had just made.

 

Sho ran a slick hand over Jun's hair, but Jun didn't even seem to notice.

 

This was one of the moments where Sho congratulated himself on booking a room with a private bath.

 

He took a second to marvel at the pure beauty of Jun's body, now covered in hickeys, and then got up.

 

"Jun?" No answer. Carefully he lifted him up in his arms and carried him down the small staircase that lead directly to the private bath. Jun had wound his arms around Sho's neck and only let go when Sho sat him down on a chair.

 

"Let's clean you up." Sho turned on the water and waited for it to turn to a nice temperature before he slowly started washing down Jun.

 

By now, Jun had started blinking again. He leaned against Sho.

 

"Screw rollercoasters." he hummed. "This was way better."

 

Sho was still contemplating whether he should kill Aiba or bake him a cake.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Most of you already read the whole thing, but for everyone else: This is the final chapter ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Posting what I created for Fishing MJ exchange on DW here. I had the luck to get the bestest prompt ever, including my favourite pairing.
> 
> This fic was written while I was learning for board exams. And I passed with flying colours! So actually, I'm a resident now, too :D Only thing that differs is that I get to leave on time and work in pediatrics (like Aiba-kun) ^^"


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